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한국가정상담연구소 소장 추부길목사님의 강의 “충만한 가정 만들기(초급) 시리즈” 공부를 마치고 6개 과정 24주제에서 얻은 새로운 지식과 삶에 적용해야 할 내용들을 정리하여 복습하고 하나님의 창조목적에 합당한 삶을 살면서 이를 같이 누리기를 바라는 마음으로 이 글을 올립니다.

제4과정 : 남녀의 차이와 부부 역할
제4주제 : 아내의 역할

1. 아내의 역할 4가지

1) 첫 번째 역할 : 남편의 “머리 됨”에 순종(Submission)하는 것(엡5:22-24)
“아내들이여 자기 남편에게 복종하기를 주께 하듯하라 이는 남편이 아내의 머리됨이 그리스도께서 교회의 머리 됨과 같음이니 그가 친히 몸의 구주시니라 그러나 교회가 그리스도에게 하듯 아내들도 범사에 그 남편에게 복종 할지니라” 성경적인 순종이란 하나님이 주신 권위에 순복하는 것입니다.(롬13:1)

(1) 순종은 하나님께 자신을 의탁하는 태도입니다.(벧전2:19-23)
(2) 그러나 순종은 성경의 명령, 원리를 범하지 않는 범위내에서라야 합니다.

2) 두 번째 역할 : 남편을 존경(Respect)하는 것(엡5:33)
“그러나 너희도 각각 자기의 아내 사랑하기를 자기 같이 하고 아내도 그 남편을 경외하라”

(1) 존경이란 자발적으로, 그리고 진정으로 추켜 세우는 것을 의미합니다.
(2) 에배소서 5장33절은 다음과 같이 해석될 수 있습니다.
아내는 남편을 존경하고 경외하여야 합니다. 즉 그를 주목하며, 인정하며, 높이며, 좋아 하며, 칭송하며, 귀하게 여기며, 경의를 표하며, 고마워하며, 사랑하며 또 도에 지나 칠 정도로 칭찬하여 아내 때문에 남편이 살맛나게 해야합니다.
(3) 남편을 진심으로 존경한다는 것은 남편의 역할에 대해 이해하고 기대하며 격려하면서 남편을 위하여 항상 기도하는 것입니다.

3) 세번째 역할 : 남편을 사랑(Love)하는 것(딛2:4)
“저들로 젊은 여자들을 교훈하되 그 남편과 자녀를 사랑하며”

(1) 사랑하기 위해서는 조건없이 용납하는 자세가 필요합니다.
(2) 사랑은 희생이 따릅니다. 사랑은 들어 주는 것이며, 만족스러운 성생활을 위해 최선을 다하는 것입니다.

4) 네 번째 역할 : 집안 일에 최선을 다하는 것(잠31:27, 딛2:5)
“그 집안 일을 보살피고 게을리 얻은 양식을 먹지 아니하나니”(잠31:27) “근신하며 순전하며 집안 일을 하며 선하며 자기 남편에게 복종하게 하라 이는 하나님의 말씀이 훼방을 받지 않게 하려 함이니라.(딛2:5)

(1) 아내에게 있어서 가정은 “하나님의 나라와 의를 구하는” 제일 가는 사역지입니다.
(2) 하나님께서는 엄마에 의한 자녀양육과 교육을 중요하게 생각하십니다.(살전2:7, 잠1:8)
(3) 아내도 가정의 수입 보충을 위해 직장을 가질 수 있으나(잠31:16, 24), 남편의 동의가 있어야 하고 그 동기는 순수해야 합니다.

2. 남편과 아내의 역할이 잘 조화될 때 풍성함은 커집니다.

1) 남편의 역할을 잘 감당하면 :

(1) 가정의 질서가 바로 섭니다.
(2) 가족 구성원의 하나됨의 기쁨을 누립니다.
(3) 제사장으로서 역할이 이루어지기 때문에 하나님과의 관계도 바로 섭니다.
(4) 가정이 바로 서기 때문에 세상의 어떤 유혹이나 고난도 이기게 됩니다.

2) 아내의 역할을 잘 감당하면

(1) 귀히 여김을 받으며(벧전3:7), 사랑 받습니다(엡5:28-29).
(2) 자식과 남편으로 부터 감사와 칭찬을 받습니다(잠31:28-29).
(3) 현숙한 여인으로 인정받습니다(잠31:10).
(4) 마음의 안정과 평화를 누립니다(잠31:25).

3. 남편과 아내의 조화된 역할은 성령 충만의 열매입니다.

에배소서 5장 22절 이하의 말씀같이 아내가 남편에게 순복하고 남편이 아내를 사랑하는 것은 5장 18절 말씀에서 지적한 것같이 성령 충만한 자의 열매인 것입니다. 성령 충만한 자의 삶이 바로 사랑과 순복, 그리고 21절 말씀같이 그리스도를 경외하면서 서로 순복하는 삶으로 나타나게 되는 것입니다.

4. 아내 역할의 실천 방안

1) “아내들이여 자기 남편에게 복종하기를 주께 하듯 하라”(엡5:22) 와 “아내들아 남편에게 복종하라 이는 주 안에서 마땅하니라”(골3:18) 그리고 “근신하며 순전하며 집안 일을 하며 선하며 자기 남편에게 복종하게 하라 이는 하나님의 말씀이 훼방받지 않게 하려 함이니라”(딛2:5)
위 말씀에 대한 아내들의 거부와 해석이 분분하지만 남편의 상태, 능력, 아내를 대하는 정도가 조건이 되는 것이 아닌 “그럼에도 불구하고” “주께 하듯”하라는 하나님의 명령입니다.

2) 하나님의 창조 섭리에 부응하고 “너희가 나를 사랑하면 계명을 지킬 것이라”(엡5:22)하시는 말씀은 남편에게 복종하기를 거부하는 것은 하나님에 대한 반항임을 알아야 합니다.
복종은 그 사람의 “하수인이 되는 것”이라는 인간적인 마음으로는 할 수 없으나 하나님의 뜻을 따르는 믿음이 있어 성령님의 도우심으로 가능해 집니다. 남편은 아내의 적대자나 경쟁자가 아니며 하나님께서 우리 부부에게 주신 삶의 목적을 달성하기 위한 동역자요 평생의 반려자임을 명심하여야 합니다.

3) 남편을 이기려할 때, 남편의 기를 꺾으려할 때, 아내의 기가 살아 나는 것 같지만 그것은 착각일 뿐 남편이 수그러들기 시작하는 그 순간부터 아내는 진정한 평화를 잃게 됩니다. 그것이 하나님의 원리입니다.

아내들이여, 남편에게 복종하기를 마치 주를 모시듯이 기쁨으로 행할 때 하나님이 설계하신 가정으로 되돌아갈 수 있습니다. 그것은 진정 나를 위한 길이요 곧 하나님을 기쁘시게 하는 길임을 명심하여야 합니다.

사랑의 하나님 아버지, 남녀의 차이와 부부의 역할에 대한 이 과의 공부를 통하여 하나님께서 설계하신 가정으로 되돌아갈 수 있는 길과 하나님의 뜻과 그 방법을 깨달아 알게 해 주셔서 감사합니다.
저의 부부 지난 날의 잘못된 관행으로 살아온 잘못들을 깊이 뉘우치고 청산하게 하여 주시옵소서. 성령님의 인도하심 따라 기쁨으로 피차 복종하는 섬김을 통하여 아름다운 하나님의 가정을 꾸며가게 하여 주시옵소서. 예수님의 이름으로 기도 드립니다. 아멘.

아래 url ctrl+click 하시면 소망교회 베다니찬양대의 은혜로운 찬양(주 여호와는 나의 목자 )을 들으실 수 있습니다.
http://www.somang.net/SMPS_IB/show/IB_Common_Show_Movie.aspx?addr=/FILE/SMPS_IB/video/080127_1.asx&code=AA005&seq=1764



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